Silly Songs (We Secretly Love)

After putting "Particle Man" on repeat for the fifth time getting ready for dance this evening, I started wondering just what it is about silly songs that I find so fascinating. I thought about it a bit, and realized that there's a lot to love - catchy tunes, crazy lyrics to pretend to understand, fond memories, and, for me at least, the pride I take in loving things that are fun and quirky. So in tribute, I thought I'd list my five favorite silly songs. My only requirement was that they had to be REAL SONGS by REAL BANDS. No commercials, or joke songs from movies, or cartoon themes allowed. No, these songs were all made by actual bands to sell actual albums. That's what makes them so awesome. Here we go:

5. STANDING OUTSIDE A BROKEN TELEPHONE BOOTH WITH MONEY IN MY HAND by Primitive Radio Gods

"My, my, the thoughts that drift away
Does summer come for everyone?
Can humans do what prophets say?
And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days
I lived awake but half asleep?"

Just the title of this one is confusing, not to mention the fact that there's no way to say it and not sound awkward. I always used to pity the radio DJs when they stumbled all over this one. But although I have no clue what the heck this is about, I have a lot of love for the song that informed us, "Ma Theresa's joined the mob and happy with her full-time job." When I was in middle school, I idolized this so much I choreographed a really avant guarde dance to match it involving red robes and ripping out somebody's glowing heart. I was 12 and thought I was wicked arty and deep, but I was probably just nuts.

4. HELL by The Squirrel Nut Zippers

"In the afterlife
You will be headed for the serious strife
Now you make the sin all day
But tomorrow there'll be hell to pay. . ."

I've always wondered why a jazz band felt the need to get all Evangelical. And just who the hell ARE the Squirrel Nut Zippers anyway? And what the hell is a nut zipper?! Damned if I know, but I never get sick of this song, nor does the urge to do a raging tap dance to it diminish. And it taught me to spell the word "Damnation." I'll stop all the bad Hell puns now.

3. LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS by The Beatles

"Picture yourself in a boat on a river
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes. . ."

Okay, we all know how many drugs the Beatles did in the latter half of their careers, but "Lucy" is just plain fucked up, even for the greatest band ever. "Rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies?" Uh, sure thing boys. I heard that the song actually came from a drawing one of the Beatles' kids had done of a girl floating in a nightscape, and when asked what they had drawn, the child had responded, "Lucy in the sky with diamonds." Somehow this makes the song even creepier, but I love it anyway.

2. PARTICLE MAN by They Might Be Giants

"Is he a dot or is he a speck?
When he's underwater does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead?
Nobody knows, Particle Man."

This has got to be the most addictive non-sensical song every created by an actual band who isn't a one-hit wonder. I fell in love with this song at age 8 when that classic 80s cartoon Tiny Toon Adventures made a silly music video out of it. My brother and I randomly recalled the song over Christmas break and promptly downloaded it. I've been singing it non-stop ever since. It's just so catchy. Watching the video, the song makes more sense, but when you realize the song came first its even quirkier. Check out the Tiny Toon video HERE.

And the number one spot goes to. . .

1. CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE by Jimmy Buffet

"Cheeseburger in paradise,
Heaven on Earth with an onion slice
Worth every damn bit of sacrifice
To get a cheeseburger in paradise. . ."

Only the Beach Margarita King, Jimmy Buffet, could sing a song about cheeseburgers and get away with it. But silly as it may seem, I've never met anyone who didn't LOVE this song. If you say you don't, you're obviously just lying to yourself in a lame attempt to be cool. We all know that when you're cruising down the freeway with your windows securely rolled up, you are screaming at the top of your lungs, "I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes, a big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer. . ." Or maybe that's just me. Parrothead Pride, baby.