Outrunning the Obama Train

Unless you’ve been stuck in a cave on Mars with your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears for the past several months, you know all about Illinois junior senator-turned-presidential candidate-turned democratic savior, Barack Obama. Whether you love him, hate him, or are ambivalent about him, you can’t go anywhere without hearing his name or seeing his smiling everyman’s face plastered on a book cover. He even has the paparazzi swarming to catch a glimpse of his photogenic visage; ever since he officially threw in his bid for the White House, glossy photo spreads of him relaxing on a Hawaiian beach have been splayed all over Hollywood tabloids, right next to snaps featuring Brittany Spears’ new cueball haircut.

In some respects, that’s a good thing. It is about time the American public has shown as much interest in our presidential candidates as we have in Hollywood celebrities. More unbelievable is the fact that Obama, rather than receiving this attention for being involved in a scandalous affair or a criminal investigation, is turning heads for being, well, just a nice guy. In fact, Obama is so squeaky clean that he has frustrated late night comics for months with their inability to effectively make fun of him. Instead, they are forced to resort to making fun of the fact that they can’t make fun of him, portraying him as a godlike figure, complete with celestial choir. However, as refreshing as it is to be reminded that there are still upstanding people in politics, the fact that Obama’s campaign centers almost entirely around his glowing personality irks me.

It’s not that I don’t like the guy. Along with plenty of other Democrats, I was wowed by Obama when he spoke at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. My entire family had our jaws on the floor, wondering “Who IS this guy?” Last year, when he wrote The Audacity of Hope, I was so intrigued that I did something I never, ever do: I sat through an entire episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show just so I could hear more from him. His interview with the talk show queen impressed me further; I appreciated his values, especially his seemingly genuine dedication to his family, a unit many politicians treat as a fashionable accessory. I was struck by his wife, and enjoyed the fact that she seemed to have a solid, power-equal relationship with her husband. I especially appreciated his statement that his only requirement for his kids in life was that they “be useful” to society, a view which directly mirrors my own attitudes. I then picked up a copy of Audacity of Hope, and was amazed (or was it relieved?) that there still existed a politician -- and a successful politician at that -- who maintained such an apolitical, service-centric, positive view of the world. Like everyone else, Obama seemed to me to be a shining star, a sweet breath of fresh spring air after a long, hard winter of political dynasty.

Unlike his current supporters, however, that wasn’t good enough for me. Despite all the happy thoughts and glowing halos, not to mention the frustration of my peers and coworkers, I refuse to jump on board the Obama Train. Yes, Obama is smart and a fantastic speaker. Yes, he has an admirable sense of optimism and values. And yes, he’s clearly a darn-tootin’ nice man.

But given all that, I still have to ask: why should I want this smart, well-spoken, upstanding nice man to be my next President?

It is usually at this point that people gape at me like I’m some kind of idiot, as if being a nice, positive-thinking person alone makes someone a potential leader of the free world. Well, to everyone aboard Train Obama I say this: take a look at our current Idiot-In-Chief, George W. Bush, Obama’s arguable antithesis. George Junior seems like a nice enough guy to me. I’m sure he’s a hell of a lot of fun at a party. And idealistic? Sure. Values? His campaign redefined the word. Optimistic? We’re still in Iraq, aren’t we? Of course, Dubbya’s not a great speaker, but Hitler was a great speaker, and look where it got him.

Of course, I’m being flippant; I don’t think Obama actually bears any comparison to Hitler or George W., but I don’t think he’s the next Bobby Kennedy either. It’s not so much his inexperience which deters me (although that is it in part -- Bobby was practically JFK’s co-president), and certainly not because of his way of thinking, which generally aligns itself with my own ideas. What bothers me at the moment is that, as a political figure, he’s a blank slate, with no specific strategies, no detailed agendas, and no known Washington networks. The only thing he’s been clear about thus far is his plan to pull out of Iraq. Okay, almost every Democratic candidate thus far agrees -- so what makes him special?

Plus, to be perfectly blunt, I vote for me, and I don’t, in any real tangible way, care all that much about Iraq. I’m saddened by the mess in the wartorn nation, abhorred by the uncapped spending, morally disturbed by the human rights violations, but when it comes to my list of personal concerns as a voter, the war is not even in the top ten. My top two issues, health care and the environment, would be just as well-served (if not better) by Hillary Clinton or Al Gore. At the very least, they are known entities, with rough ideas of how they would enact the changes they hope to make. As for number three, women’s rights, Senator Clinton has made several webcasts outlining her plans for improvement, while Obama does not even address these on his site. I understand that being cast as the Washington outsider is part of his appeal, but insider connections are, unforuntaely, what actually gets things done.

Does this mean I’m anti-Obama? Of course not. At the end of the day, I think he’s a viable Presidential candidate, and sometimes even fantasize about an Obama/Clinton ticket -- the stuff of Republican nightmares. In reality, however, I think it is much too early to be choosing a side -- any side. The details are much too sketchy. That said, I really look forward to the debates, which is when I really get a sense for who I want, or more often, who I don’t want, representing my interests. Although I understand the allure of buying a ticket on that flashy speeding bullet that is the Obama Train, I’m saving my money until I’m sure that train is actually heading to my station or not. I think the country has made enough rash, poorly thought-out decisions in recent years, and that it cannot afford any more.